This, is you:

Like many others, you think about immigrating to Canada, but can’t be bothered to deal with the paperwork involved. If the thought of filling out forms keeps you awake at night, or if the smiling faces at the border patrol frown when they see you, consider alternatives:

Catapult

This Medieval staple for getting around is just as applicable in today’s world. Given that it’s sometimes difficult to get the catapult in range without getting noticed, every effort should be made to keep your body straight and aerodynamic after launch, to acheive maximum distance. Catapult beginners are advised to keep a tucked “cannonball” position.

Massive Pole Vault

Warning: significant athleticism is required for this mode of entry. Indeed another “launch into Canada from above” variation, this allows the aspiring immigrant slightly more control than the catapult. Plus, assembling the massive pole requires a cheaper trip to Home Depot for the necessary parts, anyway.

Teleportation

As one of the more prohibitively expensive means of entry into Canada, teleportation isn’t for everyone. If you can manage it, it’s actually one of the safer ways to go Canadian. Plus, it leaves less evidence than a catapult. Plan your destination carefully and avoid crowded areas for your re-appearance.

Drilling Machine

Another unfortunately pricey option, but certainly effective. Using a high powered drilling machine, dig deep underground, then bore towards the border. Again, make sure that when you pop up on the other side, it’s in a fairly deserted area. You will need extra time to clean up, or your muddy clothes will attract unwanted attention.

Die and Reincarnate as a Canadian

This one’s tricky, and requires the utmost care. How you go is up to you: just make sure you’re careful about where you end up. Bonus Option: Leave details about your past self for your new self to find on the other side for a freaky Canadian surprise!